Talking To The Moon
by A Sirius Crush On Moony
Summary: When Sirius is sent to Azkaban, he finds comfort in talking to the moon. Talking to Remus. Remus/Sirius slash


**Written for "The Becoming a Wizard Challenge" for the event 'The Letter Arrives'.**

**Also, this was inspired by the Bruno Mars song 'Talking To The Moon'. If you haven't heard it and you're a Wolfstar fan, you should give it a listen. Every time I hear it, I think of this scenario. I've been wanting to write this for a while now.**

**Word count: 713**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Talking To The Moon<span>**

_I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away. I want you back, I want you back.  
>My neighbours think I'm crazy, but they don't understand. You're all I had, you're all I had.<em>

Not six hours ago Sirius had been sitting at home with Remus smiling and laughing and reminiscing of Halloweens at Hogwarts. They'd been so happy, so carefree. It had been perfect, Sirius realised. Why had he taken it for granted?

Why had he taken Remus for granted? His smile, his laugh, his warmth and good nature. His touches and his kisses.

Oh, how Sirius would kill to just look at Remus one last time.

_At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself,  
><em>_Talking to the moon, trying to get to you,  
>In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too,<br>Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?_

Lily and James were gone, forever. He would never see Remus again. Peter was a traitor. Harry was off to grow up with Lily's Muggle family.

Sirius's life was over.

_Everything_ had changed in a matter of a few hours.

He slumped back against the cold, damp wall of his Azkaban cell, falling to the floor feeling helpless.

All he could smell was rotting. He wondered with a shudder if that rotting was of human flesh. Would that be him one day? If so, he wished it would just hurry up and happen.

How was he to adjust to this new life?

_No_, he thought miserably, staring through the bars at the hundreds of Dementors floating around. _No, this is not living_.

It was freezing. Sirius longed to be with Remus. He longed for that warmth that seemed to radiate off of him.

He shivered and closed his eyes.

All the memories. Nobody to share them with.

_I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town, they say I've gone mad. Yeah I've gone mad,  
>But they don't know what I know, cause when the sun goes down, someone's talking back, yeah they're talking back.<em>

Were James and Lily watching over him right now? If so, with what? Pity? Anger, that he was wrong – Remus wasn't a spy, it was Peter all along. More anger, that they trusted Sirius when he promised they wouldn't regret changing Secret Keeper.

What did it matter now anyway?

They were gone.

Sirius was innocent.

Nobody knew the truth.

It was just useless. Sirius wanted to say goodbye to Remus. But he couldn't.

_At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself,  
><em>_Talking to the moon, trying to get to you,  
>In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too,<br>Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?_

Day three. Or maybe two. Or maybe it had been a week. Perhaps not even a day.

Sirius crawled to the bars to look outside. He was starving. He felt unbelievably weak.

He felt an ache somewhere near his heart when he peered up at the dark sky.

Full moon.

And this would be the first time in nine years that Remus would go through it alone. The first time in nine years he wouldn't have James, Sirius and Peter helping him through it, stopping him from tearing himself apart.

Remus's injuries per full moon depended on his feelings. If he was happy, his transformation was easier. If Remus was upset, he usually had much more painful transformations.

Sirius closed his eyes.

Remus must be feeling worse than he's ever felt in his life.

Would he be able to cope by himself?

Sirius grabbed the bars and pulled himself to his feet, using all the energy he could muster.

"I love you, Remus," he said quietly, talking to the moon.

_Do you ever hear me calling?  
><em>_Cause every night I'm talking to the moon.  
><em>

Every night from then on, Sirius talked to the moon. He talked to it as though it was Remus and he was standing right there.

It helped, it definitely helped.

Sirius would ask about how Remus was doing.

He would ask if Remus had forgiven him.

Night after night he would apologise for not being a better boyfriend. He'd apologise for suspecting Remus of being a spy.

He wondered whether Remus could hear him. Although he very much doubted it, he still couldn't stop himself from talking every night when the moon appeared in the sky.

_Still trying to get to you,  
><em>_In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me to,  
><em>_Or am I a fool, who sits alone talking to the moon?_

Sirius heard other inmates talking about him. They said he was mad. They said he was crazy. They said he was insane.

"_Black just sits in his cell talking to himself._"

Sirius didn't care. People thought he was a murderer and a traitor, it didn't bother him much that people now thought he was insane.

"They think I'm mad, Remus," he would say every night. "They don't know. They don't know I'm talking to you."

The moon would stare back as always.

"I love you, too," Sirius would whisper, staring up at the sky. "I really do."

And he knew this was how he'd get through being in such an awful place. Insane or not, it helped.

And in a helpless situation, Sirius took all the help he could get.

It was comforting.

_I know you're somewhere out there - somewhere far away._

**~The End~**


End file.
